Pandemic Religion: A Digital Archive

Becoming Closer to God in the Midst of Fear

For as long as I can remember, I have strived to be perfect in nearly every aspect of my life. Between school and personal life, I did my best to be the best and I feel like a lot of my present anxieties stem from these views of perfection. I’ve always been open about my faith, but for some reason, it felt like that was the only realm that I didn’t actively try to be perfect in. I used to go to church, but it’s been a long time. I went to the same church for about seven years and used to love it, but the church became so disconnected. Despite not going to church, I still pray and read my Bible sometimes, but I’ve always wanted to be a part of a strong, Christian community. As this pandemic has grown, my anxiety has been at an all time high. For me, there has been so much fear and uncertainty, and this need for physical isolation has caused me to further isolate myself emotionally. I feel like Covid-19 is my calling to rekindle my faith and grow spiritually. Now, I have so much time to focus on God and don’t have the distractions of school, work, and extracurriculars to use as an excuse not to. Several friends and I have even formed a weekly Bible study group via Zoom, allowing me to attain that community feeling I’ve desired for so long and also bring myself out of isolation. I feel safe and loved. And, I still feel motivated outside of the group to grow on my own. By returning to God in times of fear, I feel more peace. For me, it kind of goes to show that what seems like a bad thing can actually enable you to grow and find the good.

May 10, 2020

Non-denominational

Texas